(Author He Suohuan: Focus on gender emotions, psychological analysis such as self-growth and personality, follow me to bring you more gender knowledge)
Like or dislike, between one thought;
Love it or not, you can feel it from the very beginning.
In the movie “The Bridge of Madison County”, there is such a line:
“It takes a minute to know someone, an hour to like someone, a day to fall in love with someone, and a lifetime to forget someone.”
In a relationship, many things are involuntary.
research shows:
When people fall in love, their IQ will decline to varying degrees.
Accompanying it is:
Often unable to make rational decisions, even if there is a big loss, they will not give up easily.
Everyone who has loved deeply is “don’t hit the south wall and don’t look back”.
In fact, in the process of getting along with the opposite sex, it is obvious that the other party does not love you.
-01
Your sadness has nothing to do with him, and he does not participate in your happiness
The host Tu Lei said: “True love, you will definitely feel distressed.”
What is distressed?
It is to put yourself in the shoes of the other party and consider the problem completely from the perspective of the other party.
For example:
Boys fall in love with girls.
The girl came home from get off work and complained aggrievedly to her boyfriend:
“I got fired, I’m sad, I feel stupid.”
While playing the game, the boy responded absently: “Isn’t it just a job, just look for it again, it’s no big deal.”
This is “emotional neglect”.
Under normal circumstances, if a boy cares about you, considers you, and loves you, he will stop the game in his hand.
Walk up to you, give you a hug, and tell you firmly: “You are not stupid at all, you are great, it’s just that this job is not for you.”
Whether boys or girls, “empathy” is the standard for measuring feelings.
You are sad, the other party will not notice;
Even if you are aware of it, you will be indifferent, will not give you any comfort, and will not feel sorry for you.
You are very happy and have achieved certain results, but the other party is very indifferent.
It seems that whether you are happy or sad, it has nothing to do with him.
Such feelings are by no means love.
You lost a lot of weight, and the first moment you got home, your parents asked you: “Is it not good to eat outside? Why did you lose so much weight?”
Then your parents silently prepare a table of your favorite meals for you.
This kind of love is subconscious, from the heart, without any cover.
The same is true in the process of getting along with the opposite sex.
-02
Only draw big cakes, never keep promises
The most basic principle of life for a person is: keep what you say.
If you say it, you should do it; if you can’t, you will apologize to the other party in time.
Whether in love or in social relationships, honesty and sincerity are valuable qualities in a person.
The person who loves you may not promise you too much, but every promise he makes to you will be fulfilled.
People who don’t love you will only “paint big cakes” for you.
Just like some bosses, they are used to drawing big cakes for their employees.
In the first year of work, the boss said: “Work hard, I will give you good benefits.”
In the second year of work, the boss said: “Work hard, and I will give you a salary increase this year.”
In the third year of working, the boss said: “Roll up your sleeves and work hard. You are all veterans of the company, and I will not treat you badly.”
But you have been working for a few years, and the boss has changed to a luxury car and a big house; and your salary has only increased by a few hundred dollars.
The same is true in intimate relationships.
The other party is used to drawing big cakes for you, and blurting out is a promise.
But he almost never delivered.
He can only speak sweet words and some love words with his mouth, thinking that he can reap love with his mouth.
Such people are lazy, selfish and irresponsible.
When you fall in love with someone, don’t look at what he says, but look at what he is willing to do.
-03
People who don’t love you will never respect you
There is a concept in psychology called “accusing personality”.
In intimate relationships, such partners are called “accusing partners.”
What does that mean?
With the other party, you can’t feel your own value. He keeps trying to control you and pua you by belittling, hitting and mocking you.
“You are terrible”
“Who else wants to be with you except me?”
“You can’t do such a small thing well, you are really useless”
“Being with you is the most regretful decision I have ever made”
Living under the pua and accusations of the other party, it won’t take long before you start to “doubt yourself” and deny yourself.
People who love you will appreciate you, recognize you, and praise you from the bottom of their hearts;
Those who don’t love you, are just using you and oppressing you, will keep accusing you and pua on you.
Think of a joke on the Internet:
“People who love you live in their mobile phones; people who don’t love you live in the bathroom.”
Today’s topic:
When you realize that the other party doesn’t love you, will you stop the loss in time?
(The source network of the article with pictures)