psychology; about anger

About getting angry

In fact, each of us is dealing with “emotions” every day, which may be our own emotions or the emotions of others. Emotions are like weather changes, sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy, sometimes unpredictable, but this is a natural phenomenon, no one can have no emotions or completely control their emotions, whether it is anger, fear or sadness, there is no emotion of any kind. What is wrong or not, and even have their respective functions and uses, we don’t often hear “turning grief and anger into strength”. In fact, emotions are not the problem. We are not trying to suppress or control emotions. It’s how we turn those emotions into positive actions and avoid letting certain emotions hurt ourselves or others. Simply put, there is nothing wrong or bad about being angry, it’s just that we have to pay attention to how we are angry.

Anger is a common emotion in our life. If we don’t get angry properly, it can be extremely destructive. For example, parents are angry because their children are in trouble at school, so they beat their children, which may eliminate the parents. His own anger ignited a stronger anger in the child’s heart; couples were angry because the other party didn’t care about them enough, and in order to retaliate for the other party, they showed that they didn’t care, and as a result, they drifted away from each other and eventually broke up; between friends Because of an unintentional sentence, dissatisfaction gradually accumulates in the heart, and the friendship changes as a result.

We have always lacked emotional education in the process of growing up. What can we do when we are angry? What should I do when I feel sad when I am frustrated? We are often taught to learn to be patient and not to be angry, but we are rarely taught how to be angry well.

Psychologists tell us that our emotions affect our mood, our mood affects our temperament, and our temperament affects our health and achievement. Therefore, how to deal with emotions well is a topic that we need to keep learning at every stage of life. Here are some ways to deal with emotions:

1. Accepting one’s own emotions: We often see people who are angry, but do not admit that they are angry, or dare not be angry, which will easily make themselves angry. In fact, as long as we can accept or admit our emotions first, emotions are usually It’s half done!

2. Learn to focus and observe: When you feel angry, you can try to focus on observing the feelings of your body, especially our breathing, and observe the breathing and breathing outside the nostrils. The more we can observe the subtle breathing. Breath, the more acutely aware of the stay or the coming and going of emotions.

3. Pause to think: The decisions that the average person makes when they are angry are usually very easy to feel remorse or regret. Therefore, when emotions come, stop thinking and do not comment on anything when the mood is low. People need to calm down before thinking and avoid inappropriate words and deeds caused by unpleasant emotions.

4. Effective emotional expression: Listen carefully to the voice of yourself or others, choose an appropriate time to express your feelings or thoughts clearly and specifically, and avoid complaining, criticizing or accusing. If you can empathize with other people’s emotions and compare your heart to your heart, when others feel your empathy, they will naturally be willing to understand and accept your emotions.

5. Change your thoughts: When faced with an event that makes you quite angry, sometimes changing your thoughts is the fastest way to adjust your emotions, because how to interpret an event may not change the occurrence of the event, but it can determine the meaning of the thing. . As the saying goes: “The road doesn’t turn, the heart turns”!

6. Cultivate positive emotions: Cultivate more positive emotions on weekdays, such as: smiling often, being grateful, maintaining self-appreciation, empathy or compassion for others, learning to care and helping others, etc. According to psychologists or religionists: Patience and tolerance can fight anger and resentment.

Emotional management can be learned, as long as you are willing to constantly be aware of and change. Emotions can also be chosen by you. The same thing can make you angry or sad, and it can also make you feel satisfied or happy, depending on your choice!