Mother, in the impression of each of us, is almost always strong, unyielding, magnanimous, and forbearing. They may be in danger of being “strong” and “controlling”, but what they don’t know is that what lies behind this is actually selfless and endless love for their children. “They can do everything for us” – is a kind of protection and the most powerful support for family, children and life.
Chen Xuan, a famous female architect and founder of Shishang Architecture, realized the importance and irreplaceability of her mother to her whole life many years after she grew up: “My mother has really been with me all the time. The most important person in my life.”
01 A life supported by a mother
My mother was born in the 1940s. The family has studied literature and theory for generations and is a lady. Chen Xuan still remembers seeing his mother sitting quietly and patiently sorting and admiring the various domestic and foreign stamps in his collection when he was a child. The father is the captain, and he drives the boat out to sea all the year round, and the mother has become a strong presence in the family. In addition to completing her own research work in the unit, she also has to take care of Chen Xuan and her brother two children.
“My mother is a very professional woman with strong professionalism. She always worked overtime in the past. In my impression, I will always be the last child to be picked up from the nursery.”
“She will repair all the electrical appliances in the house, light bulbs, electric stoves… When she encounters a problem, she will not want to ask others for help first, but will immediately analyze, study, learn, and solve the problem.”
Influenced by her mother, Chen Xuan is also an independent and lovely woman, but she gets the most from her mother, which is the most solid support and the most complete protection.
“She built me an almost perfect and safe world, so for a long time I didn’t know what harm the outside world could do, so I couldn’t talk about resistance or suspicion, so I got a lot of creativity. … She has been helping me shield me from the outside world in a gentle and meticulous way. That’s what she chose to be a mother, Zegang.”
Even choosing to take the path of art, Chen Xuan was guided by his mother.
Her mother said that she discovered Chen Xuan’s talent for drawing and creating since she was a child. The paintings she gave to the teacher on Teachers’ Day have been pasted on the walls of the classroom by the teacher, and the shrimp that copied Qi Baishi were also lifelike… For more than 30 years, my mother still remembers the details of Chen Xuan’s childhood, and her tone is full of pride and satisfaction.
Before the college entrance examination, in addition to going to school, Chen Xuan went to the train station to practice sketching and draw passers-by. My mother would always wait for the bus stop in front of the house to pick her up and go home. Rain or shine. Both mother and daughter were deeply impressed by this scene.
02 They have similar pride
“My mother and I are a kind of person, so we grew up with a process of running in. I tried to provoke her, but she ignored it. After a long time, I thought it was her great wisdom.”
When he was young, Chen Xuan, who was in a rebellious period, deliberately cut his long hair into a seven-inch head in order to provoke his mother, but when his mother saw it, she only paused for a while and said calmly, “It’s pretty good-looking.”
“I was stunned at the time. I imagined countless pictures of angering her, but this was the only result I didn’t expect. Later, when I grew up, I realized that my mother’s arrogant character was very measured and wise, and she knew that we The character is very ‘rigid’, so I used a soft and strong way to ‘deal’ me.”
Her mother’s high standards and strict requirements for herself have subtly shaped Chen Xuan’s independent and opinionated core. It is precisely because of the same arrogance that during the rebellious period of her growth, there was a conflict of choice between mother and daughter. For a long time after growing up, Chen Xuan was immersed in complex feelings for her mother: on the one hand, she wanted to be truly rebellious, mature, and independent; on the other hand, she deeply felt the greatness of her mother and the deepening mutual relationship between them. rely.
“You know, from the past to now, no matter how great I have achieved, my mother’s attitude has not changed. Her requirements for me are really unchanged. No matter how old I grow up or how big a house I build, she treats that house in the same way. The attitude is the same as when I first learned to paint, painting a bowl.”
So for a long time, Chen Xuan kept rushing forward with his arrogant ferocity, just hoping that his mother’s attitude towards her would change.
After graduating from the Architecture Department of the Central Academy of Fine Arts, Chen Xuan founded Shishang Architecture, specializing in architecture, interior, furniture and product design. Representative works span from architecture to fashion, including: Saudi Arabian Embassy in China, Ullens Art Center, Jackie Chan Inception, Mei Ting’s private residence, etc.
Even after several successful years of work, she suddenly decided to go back to school to study for a doctorate in environment and sustainable development – she said this “PhD” was actually read for her mother. “Because education is a representative of a person’s ability in her cognition. I hope to be a child that satisfies her. That is an expression of me when I grow up. I hope to give her something that can make her happy. of.”
It wasn’t until later that her mother told her not to focus too much on the present, but to focus on the future.
Today, Chen Xuan’s inner expression of independence no longer needs to be achieved through rebellion. Satisfying motherhood and self-actualization are not far apart, but after fusion, they become the best of both worlds. It is also this arrogance of tenacity and pursuit of achievement brought to her by her mother, which constantly motivates her to move forward and becomes her strength from the bottom of her heart.
As she grows old, her mother’s self-realization figure on the social stage gradually fades away. Her happiness comes more from her family and from her comfortable body and mind. In addition to working hard to be a child that satisfies her mother, Chen Xuan always wants the best for her mother in life, and takes care of her mother’s body with all her heart. This is not a kind of surrender, in fact, to satisfy her, perhaps even a part of herself. In the past, it was the mother who supported the child, but now that the child has grown up, it was her who supported the mother.
“Right now, I just want her to be healthy and happy, to enjoy everything in the moment, and to enjoy her carefree and proud life.”
03 Under her arrogance, she also needs to be cared for
For Chen Xuan, when she was a child, her mother was her protection and support. As she grew up, this mutually supportive relationship reversed, and she began to support her mother. The aging mother, although she still retains her inner arrogance, gradually loses control of her body’s “arrogance”.
Studies have shown that postmenopausal women are prone to osteoporosis and are at risk of successive fragility fractures. Therefore, women need to pay enough attention to the problem of osteoporosis.
“I once thought that it was normal for my mother to have some bone problems and a hunched back when she was old, but it turns out that this is all caused by osteoporosis. It is not enough to eat calcium tablets and sunbathe.” The exquisite and peculiar architectural design can only exist on the sand table if there is not enough strong “skeleton” support in the actual construction.
Perhaps your mother suffered from a fragility fracture due to slight external force, became significantly shorter in height, hunched over, or often suffered from low back pain or even general bone pain. In fact, these may be the “warning messages” that osteoporosis sends to us. Act in a timely manner, take your mother to check bone density regularly, manage osteoporosis scientifically according to the doctor’s advice, and help your mother continue to display her arrogant strength and regain her arrogant life.
04 No one can be young forever but wish she was
Chen Xuan, who wants to make his mother happy, also hopes that his mother can maintain a “proud life” both physically and mentally. Women, especially women over 50, their proud life not only needs to be filled with inner self-confidence and firmness to support their inner self, but also needs the understanding and support of the closest family members around them. And a healthy body is the most fundamental thing. Only in this way can you release healthy self-confidence from the inside out.
No one can be forever young. But for the loveliest, most laid-back moms, kids always want them to stay healthy and enjoy life.
The body and mind have to travel far, and 50+ women can also live out their brilliance. Their proud life is driven by their inner firmness, cared by the care of their children and people around them, and carried by their healthy bones and bodies. .
Regularly take mothers for bone density screening, scientific management of bone health, and let mothers have a real “proud life”.